A Few Thoughts on Baby-makin’

21 01 2009

I had no idea it would be this stressful – Between timing things right and assorted donor issues, I have had so much anxiety over all of this. It isn’t what I expected. I expected to stress while waiting to know if that month’s insimination worked or not. I expected to stress over whether we were ready or not. I just didn’t realize that I would spend most of my days worrying about things.  Is our donor going to back out? Move away? Vanish? Can you tell that we are a wee bit jaded? We’ve been through a lot. I start to wonder, not if we aren’t ready but if it just isn’t meant to be. That is so heartbreaking. I just get to points where I think that it shouldn’t be THIS hard or take THIS long. It should be quick and easy, the pregnancy and child raising should be the hard part… right?

(Most) People are completely clueless – A casual comment was made at work a few months ago about how everyone was getting pregnant. I had made some comment later on about being dizzy or something and a cw said “well, you can’t be pregnant can you?” and at that point I felt the need to let the cat out of the bag. Yes, I could be pregnant. The first response out of said cw was “Did you cheat on J?”. My jaw about dropped. I had to explain that we were trying to have a baby. I ended up explaining the whole process in detail. People outside of the situation just assume that a couple of girls can’t make a baby without having sex with a man.  Someone even went as far as to say that it “wouldn’t ever work that way”. Please, tell that to all the lesbians I know that either have kids or are expecting. I’m sure they all went out and had sex with a man. Not.

Pregnancy tests are addictive – Seri0usly. I can’t stay away from them. I start testing like 10 days after ovulation and keep testing till I see red. I went through so many last month, it’s sickening. I love dollar tree tests. They are like crack. I think digitals are mean. They could say “sorry” instead of NOT PREGNANT. How rude. LOL.

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