A Few Thoughts on Baby-makin’

21 01 2009

I had no idea it would be this stressful – Between timing things right and assorted donor issues, I have had so much anxiety over all of this. It isn’t what I expected. I expected to stress while waiting to know if that month’s insimination worked or not. I expected to stress over whether we were ready or not. I just didn’t realize that I would spend most of my days worrying about things.  Is our donor going to back out? Move away? Vanish? Can you tell that we are a wee bit jaded? We’ve been through a lot. I start to wonder, not if we aren’t ready but if it just isn’t meant to be. That is so heartbreaking. I just get to points where I think that it shouldn’t be THIS hard or take THIS long. It should be quick and easy, the pregnancy and child raising should be the hard part… right?

(Most) People are completely clueless – A casual comment was made at work a few months ago about how everyone was getting pregnant. I had made some comment later on about being dizzy or something and a cw said “well, you can’t be pregnant can you?” and at that point I felt the need to let the cat out of the bag. Yes, I could be pregnant. The first response out of said cw was “Did you cheat on J?”. My jaw about dropped. I had to explain that we were trying to have a baby. I ended up explaining the whole process in detail. People outside of the situation just assume that a couple of girls can’t make a baby without having sex with a man.  Someone even went as far as to say that it “wouldn’t ever work that way”. Please, tell that to all the lesbians I know that either have kids or are expecting. I’m sure they all went out and had sex with a man. Not.

Pregnancy tests are addictive – Seri0usly. I can’t stay away from them. I start testing like 10 days after ovulation and keep testing till I see red. I went through so many last month, it’s sickening. I love dollar tree tests. They are like crack. I think digitals are mean. They could say “sorry” instead of NOT PREGNANT. How rude. LOL.


The Intro Post

19 01 2009

I hate doing these. I am so bad about introducing myself or summarizing or whatever.

Me and my darling wife-to-be (still waiting for legal marriage in Florida!) are in the process of trying to have a baby. We are going to both be using this blog as a way to document the whole process to share it with other gay couples who are trying to conceive as well as having it as a keepsake for when our little one (or ones) are all grown up so they can see what we went through to have them!

We have been TTC (trying to conceive for those who aren’t used to the terms) for over a year on and off using known donors. I am carrying the baby but she may carry future children. This whole process is like a huge emotional roller coaster. You are on the top of the world when you are waiting to test and see if this month is the month when it actually works and then it’s so sad to get a negative pregnancy test. We had an early miscarriage one of our first few tries which was heartbreaking but we keep on going. We both want several children and can’t wait to start growing our little family. Right now it is just us and our newest additions to the family, two 8 week old kittens that we adopted. We can’t wait to have a child of our own.